The Age Issue

Something traumatic happened to me yesterday. Something tantamount to the sky falling on my head.

Someone called me an uncle!!!

Wah rao!!

uncleuncleuncle!!!

There i was, walking happily by my lonesome on my way to purchase a nutritious meal (2 piece kfc chicken meal....wooo!!), fiddling with my new phone (yes!! i have a new brilliant wonderful phone!!) when it happened. A bump. Looked down. Small little guy stared up at me with his innocent eyes. Then out came the dreaded words:

"Sorry uncle."

NOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo!!!!

Stunned into paralysis, i stared unyieldingly at him. As with all kids, he gave me an innocent grin, and rushed off to find his mum. Recovering my senses, i told myself:

Relax. He's probably using a generic term honed from years of repetition, probably because he's constantly surrounded by true uncles. He probably did not get a good look at me too, perhaps too stunned by the impact to react accordingly. Dun worry, once he gets a good look he'll react accordingly. Breathe.

Then, with the waft of the wind, came the sound of his voice:

"Mummy why the uncle stare at me like that?"

!!!

Why?!!? I'm only 23 lei!! (tho my birthday is coming. hur hur.) And i was wearing my oh-so-cute monkey shirt lor!!


You know, i think we should really teach our young the proper way to address people lor. Certain people are clear uncles. For instance:

See the guy on the left. Ahh, that one u can call uncle. See they have a certian look one. Dun anyhow suay bian call uncle lar. The classic gold chain around the neck, the short crew cut hair, oh and of course the face. When contrasted with my beaming face, filled with the vigour of youth, the uncle-ness is more pronounced. I'm sorry cheek but for the sake of educating our youth, i have to use u as an example. Its just not right that i'm an uncle. hur hur.

Ok for the sake of completeness, i shall show u whats an auntie.



And this here is a prime example of an auntie. Again check out the classic characteristics. The faded polo tee, the unkempt long hair (thats probably messy from having to take care of 4 kids), and of course, the thick spectacles from having to help the kids with their homework.

So i hereby strongly advocate all parents to properly educate their young on the importance of addressing adults. For reference, check out the guide i've provided above. For someone as youthful looking like me hor, together with my youthful exuberance, my stylishly styled hairstyle, and the shirt, i can and should be addressed by a variety of terms like a "mister", a "sir" or a "yandao". Hur hur.


(current-song-playing-in-my-head: mo ri zhi lian --- Zzen Chen)